I really didn’t know what mentoring was all about then but now I know that mentoring means being special friends and sharing life moments with each other. I enjoy being with my mentor and doing simple things like baking cookies together, shopping, going to the movies, going to church or just hanging out! My mentor has helped me in many ways and made my life better. Just being able to get out of the house and go somewhere helps me feel better when I am sad. When we go shopping, Sheila helps me make good choices about spending my money. I like to go shopping with Sheila and she even helped me shop for my prom dress!
My mentor is very active and likes to do things with me. She is fun to be with and I learn a lot from her. She is always there for me and she always keeps her commitments with me which I am very thankful. I think it is amazing that Sheila finds it in her heart to mentor me and she doesn’t get paid to do so!
My mentor has included me in family activities and that makes me feel very special. I have been to church with them, to baby showers and birthday parties and Halloween parties. This makes me very happy.
My life would not be the same without my mentor. I would not be able to do things in the community or have someone to talk with when I need them. My life would be sad and lonely without her.
I know I can always call my mentor and I don’t have to wait for her to call me. I call her when I need to talk or when I want to plan an activity with her to do that week. She is always there for me when I call. I am so glad we have this special time with each other. Sheila may not realize how important our time is together so this is the perfect time to tell her that I love her and that my wish is that we will stay together always and be friends.
Stephanie is 19 years old and living at Applepatch, a residential program for individuals with disabilities. She attends South Oldham High School. She has been matched with Ms. Sheila for over 2 years. Read More
Margaret's Story - Like many of the former homeless residents in the Housing and Urban Development program at Boys and Girls Haven, I grew up in less than ideal circumstances. Although I was born in Louisville, I grew up in Alabama. One of my parents was an alcoholic and very abusive. My siblings and I were beaten physically on a regular basis, but as I look back it’s the verbal abuse that rings in my ears – it was almost worse than the physical abuse.
Things were at their worst when I was in Middle School. I ran away but the courts sent me right back home! Luckily in the process of this trauma my other parent was eventually granted custody. So my High School years were pretty good. I graduated, not great grades at the time, but good enough to graduate. I had to work in a lot of restaurants in those days.
After graduation I went straight into the army, still 17 years old. During boot camp I realized this was not for me and I managed to get a general discharge. I can actually go back someday if I choose. After that experience I moved to Kentucky where I still had family and enrolled in the National College of Business and Technology.
During my early college years I found out I had rheumatoid arthritis and Grave’s disease. Grave’s is a disease of the thyroid. I should take medicine but I never could afford it and I’ve never had medical insurance. Some of my friends told me to apply for disability, but I don’t want a government check if I can work – and I can work!
The school thing didn’t work out and I ended up couch surfing around town. Finally I moved in with my sister, but her landlord kicked me out of the apartment because my name was not on the lease. Things went from bad to worse and I ended up sleeping the bus station, a low point in my life. The bus station was a humbling and scary experience. I don’t know how I slept because I swear I was too scared to close my eyes.
I called a friend of mine and asked for help. He had been in one of the Boys and Girls Haven Transitional Housing programs for homeless youth. I went straight out and applied. I’ve lived in two different HUD programs since 2008 and recently was hired as a live-in manager for one for one of the Boys and Girls Haven apartment complexes.
Being a live-in manager is the perfect job for me because I go to school during the day at Sullivan University. I graduate with a two-year degree in paralegal studies late this spring. After that I plan to go on for a four-year degree in Criminal Law.
I’m never embarrassed to tell people I live at Boys and Girls Haven because I’m so grateful to live there. I think to myself: “I was born in the projects and this sure beats living there!” As live-in manager I kind of have a reputation for being a no-nonsense manager. I guess I run a pretty tight ship.
And living at the Haven hasn’t hurt my social life at Sullivan. I’ve made lots of friends there and no one looks down on me because of where I live. In fact lots of people take classes I choose just to be in class with me! And the teachers are great. One of my favorite is Mr. Nicholas Riggs, the Director of Legal Studies at Sullivan.
When I think about Boys and Girls Haven, I realize all the many ways it has helped me. I’ve had an excellent therapist here. I looked forward to every session I have with him. And sometimes I’d turn the tables on him and interview him! My case manager, Miss Melinda, is such a warm, friendly person. She always takes time to talk with me, even if she is very busy.
And Miss Shemika who is in graduate school herself, has given me lots of academic advice. I know I’ve had a harder life than a lot of people, but I feel so grateful to all the people who have helped me – my friends, my teachers, and most of all the staff at Boys and Girls Haven. It’s a great place! Read More
Sara's Story - I didn’t have much family support in my teenage years. My mother has suffered from cancer for a long time and she had plenty of other to kids to worry about besides me. I ended up in State care at age 13 and it wasn’t too long before I was put in a foster home.
That situation didn’t work out very well. My foster mother would get so angry about my poor grades. She couldn’t understand I’d spent most of my high school years tending to my sick mother. I finally ran away.
I tried moving back in with my mom, but that didn’t work out. I figured after turning 18 that I was pretty much on my own anyway, but I didn’t really have anywhere to stay. I’d go between being outright homeless one week to couch surfing with friends another week. Someone told me about the equine program and I went to see Jay Wilkinson. I’d been used to tending to other people all my life and the next thing I knew I was tending to horses at 6:00 a.m. . . . I loved it.
I’ve learned two things from the horses. The first is patience; you can’t boss around a 1,200 pound thoroughbred. And the second is courage; you can’t ever show fear in front of a horse. Working with the horses is kind of spooky in a way. They tend to mirror your emotions. If you get angry, they get angry. If you’re affectionate, they get affectionate. You learn real fast to get your act together or you end up with a crazy 1,200 pound baby on your hands!
When I first started working here I met Ann Georgehead who is on the Boys and Girls Haven Board of Trustees. I really wanted to learn how to ride a horse, so she took several of us out twice a week and taught us to ride horses Western saddle style. I always rode Hootie, my favorite among the equine therapy horses.
Now I’ve had so much experience that I’m teaching the other students how to hot walk the horses, how to groom the horses, and how to care for their legs. As part of the Equine Program I had to complete my G.E.D. I scored a 12.9 out of 12.9 in every subject, the highest you can score.
I was part of the G.E.D. graduation ceremony at Male High School. The hardest part was not having any family there. My mom was too sick. But Jay and Bill Vest and several other staff from the Equine Program showed up which made a big difference. They’re all encouraging me to sign up for courses at JCC. My dream is to eventually go on for a 4-year nursing degree.
Between the Board and the staff at Boys and Girls Haven (and the horses) I feel like I’ve really found a home and I’m starting to feel like I’ve got a real future for the first time in my life. Read More
Amanda's Story - How did I end up at Boys and Girls Haven? Well...I'll tell you. I had a pretty tough background like most of the kids that come here. But I was lucky. I had good grandparents. Since my mom was both a drug addict and an alcoholic, I spent quite a bit of time with my grandparents while I was growing up. Read More
Elizabeth's Story - I'm in Boys and Girls Haven's Independent Living Program and as far as I'm concerned, the Independent Living Program is the best thing about Boys and Girls Haven! Read More
Thank you to our Mentoring Program -
A poem from our Mentoring Program:
Thank you so much
For being my inspiration
My mentor and friend
My light and wind beneath my wings
Always a place I can go
To share my pain
My failures and successes
My thoughts and my heart
Only you have stood beside me
Encouraging and patient
Kind and always true
Read More
Sam's Story - Now, I don’t remember much. I was three. I know I cried a lot and my mom was always doped up, but that’s not my fault. That’s just about all I remember…I cried and she was goofy. I remember how my dad beat me. I remember being shut up in the horse stall for days and days. It seemed like forever. He locked up me and my brother. And he did worse stuff to us too. I’m not sure I wouldn’t shoot him if I ran into him today. By the time I was six, mom had been gone a long time and I just couldn’t live with my dad any more. I told on him [to the authorities] and we got taken away. My brother hated me for that. Read More
Tom's Story. - Born in March 1986 in southern Kentucky. Put in state care at 6 weeks of age. Parental rights terminated due to abandonment. Read More
Cindy's Story - I lived with my mom until I was six years old. The only memories I have of my mom are a few incidents of her being beaten up by her boyfriends. I remember sneaking downstairs once to see what all the yelling was about and saw my mom covered in blood. I didn’t sneak downstairs after that. Read More
David's Story - When I think about why I like living at Boys’ Haven, one word comes to mind . . . stability. I guess I’ve always been looking for stability. I was only eight years old and my father died of leukemia. 64 years old at his death, my father was much older than my mother. She was 26 when he died. Unlike my father, my mother didn't go to college. She didn't really have any job skills and had no idea how to support four kids. Read More
Angie's Story -
I'm originally from northern Kentucky. One of my mom's boyfriends used to get me to do cocaine with him before I was even 12. He thought it was funny to get high with a kid. I developed a dependency on the drug and ended up spending time in a residential treatment center for girls.
Read MoreBenjamin's Story -
My Canadian born father came to the United States at age 21 as a jack of all trades - mason, welder, pipe-fitter, and carpenter. He was very intelligent, but he wasn't at home much. And when he was at home he was exhausted from the kind of work he did.
Read MoreStaci's Thank You - This is an actual letter slipped under the door of our Executive Director, Vern Rickert. Read More
