I lived with my mom until I was six years old. The only memories I have of my mom are a few incidents of her being beaten up by her boyfriends. I remember sneaking downstairs once to see what all the yelling was about and saw my mom covered in blood. I didn’t sneak downstairs after that.
My sisters and brother and me were finally put in a foster home. But when I was 9 years old my biological father took us in. He started to sexually abuse me when I turned 12. I remember waking up at night finding him on top of me. It scared me to death.Even worse were his physical punishments. He’d make me and my sisters stay in a push-up position for hours on end. Or we’d have to stand with our arms outstretched and three books in each hand – once for over five hours! If he ever caught us out of position, he’d beat us with his belt.
After running away from home a few times I was put in a foster home and I ran away from that too. I wasn’t an angel. I started drinking and smoking cigarettes and weed with my friends. Then they put me in a residential treatment center for a year and a half.
At age 15 I moved into a therapeutic foster home. I guess that means my foster parents were specially trained to deal with kids like me. All I know is my foster mom smoked a lot of weed with her boyfriend . . . that is, when he wasn’t beating her. And she had the nerve to act as a pastor of a small country church! I’m proud that I reported her and my social worker removed her from the foster care system.
After that I went to live in another foster home. I was about 16 at the time. My biological father begged me to come back with him and swore he’d changed. I can’t believe I fell for it!
He didn’t hit me anymore, but my step mom left him and he put me in charge of the house. I had to take care of his kids, clean the house, fix meals and iron his clothes. Somehow I managed to do this while I played basketball, tried to go to school and spent as much time as I could with my church youth group. My father would still touch me once in awhile and make lewd comments.
When I was 17 I had a serious boyfriend and ended up pregnant. My father threatened to beat me unless I showed him where my boyfriend lived. I was afraid for my boyfriend and I was afraid my father might beat me while I was pregnant, so I ran away again.
I lived with friends or whoever would take me in. My main memory of my pregnancy was being hungry all the time. One month I ate nothing but cream of wheat. I got scared for my baby and me as I grew more pregnant, so I turned myself in to the YMCA Shelter House. From there I went to another foster home.
This time I really liked my foster mother. She’s strict, but she’s great. I’ve learned so much from her. And I finally had time to focus on school. I started making good grades and graduated from high school, getting a 3.8 grade point average my senior year. When I look back, it ends up I went to 2 elementary schools, 5 middle schools and 5 high schools.
Now I’m 19 and living in a Boys’ Haven apartment. My sister lives with my new foster mother and I see them a lot. I’m in my second semester of college. The best part of my life is my baby. She’s a doll, but she has a tough schedule, just like mine. My typical day goes something like this.
5:30 a.m. Wake-up, get organized and fix breakfast for Carmen and me
7:30 a.m. Catch the bus to take Carmen to a free daycare downtown
9:00 a.m. Leave the daycare and rush to school (I’m studying business)
12:00 p.m. Take the bus to work at a fast food restaurant out near where I live
1:00 p.m. Work for five hours
6:00 p.m. Take the bus back downtown to get Carmen
7:00 p.m. Pick Carmen up and catch a bus home
8:00 p.m. Get back home, feed and bathe Carmen and eat something myself
9:30 p.m. Put Carmen to bed and star in my homework.
11:30 p.m. Lights out (unless I have a test the next day).
People tell me I have a lot of energy. I'm glad I do - I need it! I don't make enough money to pay for my own apartment and living expenses. But with Boys' Haven helping me with housing, I can start saving for a car and focus on school. I know I can get a good job when I finish school. Till that time, Carmen and I have a pretty good life. It's hectic, but I'm grateful for what I have.
Regarding relationships with men, I vow to never let any dude hit me or my baby. My biological father has never set eyes on my baby, and I plan to keep it that way.
